


Hate that I love You

by lutavero



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Allenbert Week 2017, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Free day, Hogwarts, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Meet-Cute, Pre-Flashpoint (DCU), Pre-Flashpoint Relationship, Protectiveness, Secret Relationship, Soulmates, allenbert - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-20 18:35:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9505667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lutavero/pseuds/lutavero
Summary: Allenbert WeekDay 1: Pre-Flashpoint RelationshipDay 2: Hogwarts AUDay 3: Jealousy/ProtectivinessDay 4: Free DayDay 5: Secret RelationshipDay 6: Hurt/ComfortDay 7: Soulmates





	1. Day 1: Pre-Flashpoint Relationship

**Author's Note:**

> My first entry in anything like this. Phew, I hope I did an okay job! :)

It's his first day at CCPD. He's pretty sure nervous isn't strong enough to describe his feelings.  
The Captian - David Singh, according to his name tag - is strict, doesn't stray from the point and he likes it. Singh's reading something out loud- which he's pretty sure he should listen to, but he finds himself drifting away, again.  
It's his first time outside of the grim, but still homey UK. Here, in Central everything is sunny, bright as if they don't have such a big problems with the metahumans.Especially that Zoom one. He still sees it in his mind, the way that thing had the Flash - _the Hero, the Saviour he muses_ \- in his grasp. Not long after that came the notification that on the CSI department was a vacancy, and if you had the right education, you'd start immediately. He didn't even hesitated, didn't think it through the way he should've before he sent his CV and within a day he packed everything. He wrote a simple letter to his parents and threw it in the mailbox, ready to go, without a proper goodbye.  
And now here he was, sitting in this chair, listening to his rights - _not that he didn't study it in his way here, thank you very much_ \- and sometimes nodded. The Captian said something, then he pushed a paper in front of him, with a pen.  
"And this is your contract.I've just read the important parts out loud to you, but if you still need some time, that's fine by me, but I'd love to wrap this up today so you could start soon."  
Before the Captian could finish his speech, he already signed it.

* * *

 "And this is where most of our CSIs work." says the Captian, after he was shown around the precinct. "And this will be your table." the table he gestures to is near the window, at the bottom level. There's at least six or seven tables in the room, all of them messy with folders and who knows what's. The smell at least is clearly some kind of detergent and it's a relief.  
"If you need something, there's the storage of the chemicals, and there's the way to the morgue if needed. I hope you'll enjoy working here and your work will be successful."

* * *

There's one man he just can't figure out. He hasn't seen that often, just when he took his results to the Captian. He was always late, always ran and babbled like a teenager.  
According to the others, his name is Allen. And he has his own lab. He never envied someone before, but now, he's really close to it.

* * *

He just can't understand these people. _They_ should be the ones, who arrests these metahumans, the ones who chase them and get them arrested and make them face the consequences of their actions. But no, they have _the Flash_ , so why should they put effort in their work? He really hates that guy.

* * *

He knows it'll be a terrible day before he even arrives at his workplace. It's raining and it's not that kind of rain you found romantic, oh no, it's like a freaking flood, and the water is billowing on the streets because the channels can't swallow it. By the time he makes it to the precinct, he's soaked and he's really annoyed and grumpy. And that's before he even hears the bad news.  
"Oh, Albert, you finally made it! You should go down to the labs, one of the pipes got broken."  
And of _fucking_ course, his table is the only one which got washed away.

* * *

Until his workplace is under reconstruction, he was moved up to Allen's lab. The other CSI just looked as pleased as he felt when the Captian told them the news. So, he got a new table and ta-da, the problem was solved, even if just temporarily.  
He can't even admit it to himself, but he was sure the Captian was ready to send him home, saying he earned a month-long vacation with all the hard work he has done. That he should just go home to spend some time with his family. And he just couldn't let that happen. There was no way he was ready to head home, to see the disapproving glances on his own parent's faces. The way he just left, without an explanation, the one who should've inherited the goods, the wealth, the one who was the _heir_ \- and he let them down and was back, like some stray, who couldn't survive on his own, the _prodigal son._ He was so desperate that he was ready to beg. And an Albert _never_ begs.  
Instead, he got paired with Allen, and for a moment he isn't sure he ended up with the better choice.

* * *

Working so closely with Allen isn't that bad. Sure, he has is own flaws, like he's almost late to everything and talks when he shouldn't but he can't deny the fact he's a good CSI - the moment the meaning of this sentence sunk in he was pretty sure he technically choked and almost suffocated, earning some funny looks - and if he isn't acting like an asshole, who's above him, a great company.  
But learning from his previous experiences, he knows he can't afford the luxury to have friends. The last time tried to get along his coworkers outside of work, they made fun of him, so why would it be different?  
So he, at first, patiently shuts down Allen requests for coffee breaks, or the offers to have lunch with him and his friends - and aren't they just weird? How an Earth did they met?What brought them together? - and when he volunteers to help in out with his cases. And then, along the way, he just snaps one time, and he responds more angrily and Allen just shouts back at him, saying things which make him lose his control and in the end Joe has to step in before they both do something they'd regret later - if just for the fact that their renown would be stained.

* * *

After that, Allen never asks him again, talks to him if it's necessary and behind his back just calls him the guy, who he really just hates. Julian ignores the hurt and responds in kind.

* * *

It's close to May when one day Barry shows up to work and his posture radiates defeat. There was always something different about the other man like he was more than he let on like he was some otherworldly half-God. But now, he looked like just lost the want to live. Without a snarky comment, he makes his way past him and just sits down, looking miserable.  
He works without a break, and around 1.00 pm he looks like he's gonna faint. Before he could change his mind, he goes down to Jitters and buys two cups of coffee. On his way back to work he tries to reason himself, collects reasons why he should and why he shouldn't give this coffee to him.  
But when he does give it to him, the way Allen's tired, dull eyes come alive again, the way he smiles at him, just a shy, if-you-blink-you-gonna.miss-it one, the butterflies in his stomach are totally worth it.

* * *

They don't talk about it as if it never happened. They're just bantering, trying to rile up the other. Barry - _and when did he become Barry?_ _-_ complaining he really wants back his lab, and himself just goes along with it, saying he too wants it.  
But Julian just can't forget that smile, the way the other smiled up at him.  
Until one day everything changes, not long after West claimed that Zoom was gone for good.  
The day when Barry walked in one day, saying things, acting like he never saw him before.


	2. Day 2: Hogwarts AU

He has no idea how this whole thing, that window sill played such a big part in his life, but whoever decided it'd, he's really thankful for it.

* * *

 

He met Allen in the library in a sunny, October morning. He wasn't in a great mood, per se, since his parents somehow discovered how badly he failed his Muggle Studies - _seriously, why did they even wanted him to study it? The whole subject was stupid, good only for time-wasting to begin with_ \- so they sent him a howler - luckily, he was alone when he received it - and told him if the next exam will be a failure too, there'd be serious consequences. Instead of training for the next Quidditch match, he tagged down to the library, so he could wallow in self-pity and occasionally read the books and parchments. And that was the moment he saw him for the first time.

He sat on the window sill, staring ahead, watching the Quidditch Pitch, a book in his lap. According to his uniform, he was a Hufflepuff. The boy radiated peace and calm and... And Julian was the one who wanted to sit on that window sill, so he could watch the practice and pretend that he was studying. The boy must've sensed him standing there, because the next moment he turned towards him, with a little smile on his face.

"Oh, thank God it's just you, I thought the librarian came back again." said the boy, hazel eyes sparkling in the daylight.

"That's my window sill. I wanted to study there," he stated dumbly.Oh Gods, what was he? A 5-year-old kindergartener? The boy just smirked up at him.

"Didn't saw your name on it. And I thought this was a free country."

"You didn't even know my name. How do you know it isn't written there?" the boy just laughed at him, before he extended his arm towards Julian.

"You're right. I'm Allen, Barry Allen.Hufflepuff" Julian just scowls at him, before he sat down at the nearest chair, throwing his books on the table.

"Julian Albert, Slytherin." he nodded in reply but didn't extend his arm, and the boy deflated a little. Julian just got his book out of the heap of parchment, when Allen spoke up again.

"What are you studying?" asked the boy, Allen, curiously.

"Muggle Studies." he replies with disgust.

"Aaaand?What's your opinion about it?"

"The whole thing is just so stupid! Why should I learn so much about these… idiots!" he explained with a scowl and he didn't notice the way Allen's smile tightened. "Especially with these Mudbloods around here. Seriously, why are we forced to even study about them?"

"Dunno. But don't bother to tell me if you figured it out," said Allen, and in the next moment, he headed towards the exit, leaving behind Julian without an explanation.

On the plus side, he finally got the window sill. But then, on the other, something in his chest just tightens.

* * *

 

It's been a month since he last saw Allen. And in that month, he had done some digging.

Apparently, he's from the US, and a _Mudblood_ \- and dear God, he just outright called him an idiot. Some of his housemates said that he wasn't living with his parents and he was Wells favorite student. The Potions teacher, oh how much Julian hated that guy. And top of it, in the last months, he shared this exact class with Allen. And the funny thing about this fact was, that he wasn't aware of this until Wells paired them, so they were forced to work together.

Allen does his part quietly, talks to Julian just if it's necessary and even then he never looks at him. And he feels shitty because of it.

He torelated it for a week, and then he breaks the ice. Or he tries. When he can't find Allen anywhere, in his desperation he goes to the library. That's where he founds him, again, sitting on that window sill. Allen must have heard him because his posture tenses.

"If you're here to insult me, again, could you just skip it?" when he turns towards him, his eyes sparkling again, but his gaze is furious now. "You know, if you really want this window sill, you'd have just asked me to sit somewhere else."

"I want to know more." he blurts before he knows what he's doing. Judging by the look Allen gives him, he didn't expect this turn. "I was an asshole and said things that hurt you and I'm sorry for it. And I..... need help." he finishes awkwardly, swallowing. Allen just looks at him, his mouth at the corners twitching.

"And what do you need help with exactly?" comes the question and he relaxes a little- when did he get so tense?

"With...Muggle Studies. It just doesn't make sense to me... And I need help."

"Well, I guess, we could make a deal, I help you with the Muggle thingy and you could help me with the whole Quidditch-thingy. Deal?"

"It's a deal, Allen," he replies, a real smile slowly making his way onto his face.

"Oh, and one more thing. Don't call me Allen. My name is Barry."

* * *

 

And that's how he ended up meeting Barry in the library every day, after classes - unless there was Quidditch training, what he never missed. And Potions slowly became his favorite subject - after Quidditch, of course, and the fact that Potions meant he got two extra hours to spend it with Barry, it was his secret. Because that was the fact, during the months they got to know each other, he discovered that Barry was actually a pretty funny guy to be around. He was cheerful, sarcastic, clever but not in an asshole-ish way, and he was extremely helpful. Slowly, Julian got used to spending his free minutes with Allen. 

Through the years, they became best friends. He trusted him like he never trusted anyone before, told him his darkest fears, secrets, and Barry never judged him, oh no, he listened and helped him, especially when his father turned his back on him. Barry was a constant point in his life and he loved him for it.

* * *

 

"You're so stupid!" Barry mumbles angrily as he carefully wraps the gauze around Julian's arm.

"Why? Because I stopped that idiot, so he didn't beat you to a bloody pulp? "he hisses because _dammit_ , these bruises hurt like hell.

"Yeah? And why is this better?" Barry hisses back at him, and not meeting his eyes. "Why is it better that you got beat up and not me?"

Right now, they are in the library, both of them sitting on their - _and when did it become theirs?_ \- window sill.

"What should have I done instead? Just let that moron hurt you? And because you're a Mudblood?" he scoffs at it. "No, I don't think so."

At this, Barry looks up, and that's when Julian realizes how close they got to each other. Their noses almost brushing, breath tingled. The warm light gives Barry an almost angelic look, his hazel eyes sparkling.

Julian swallows and he watches Barry while he bites his lower lip.

And in the next moment, they're kissing.

At first, it's just a little pecks of lips and it ends as soon as it started. But before Barry could turn away, Julian brings up his hands and fits them in Barry's hair, crashing their mouths together again.

This second one is more passionate, more filthy and he _loves_ it. Barry takes his jaw in his hands, careful, minding the bruises and bites his lower lip, to which he responds with a moan. And before things could get more intensive, Julian breaks the kiss with a hiss. 

"I think the asshole bruised my ribs," he says, out of breath and probably flushed. Barry just looks at him, blushing, and his lips are red and wet and it takes Julian's every will to not kiss him again.Especially after Barry starts giggling, and he giggles too but frick, his ribs are really hurting.

* * *

 

It's their final year, here, at Hogwarts and both of them just wrote their last N.E.W.T.s - hopefully, both of them passed all of them. The stress is finally over, there's no need to worry about the next one.

Currently, they were sitting on their window sill, Julian's back against the wall, his left leg hanging down, Barry between his legs, his head pillowed on Julian's chest.

Julian treasured these moments when he could hold Barry in his arms like this, hugging him, cuddling him, both of them relaxed. He idly played with Barry's hair, thinking about the future.

If everything goes as they wanted, Julian would become an Auror and Barry, who, the idiot who took the necessary N.E.W.T.s for the Auror and Healer education - no wonder he was so exhausted - would become a special Auror.

When he asked him why he wanted to become one he told him his tragic backstory - and damn, Julian was ready to hunt down the asshole who hurt his partner like that.

Barry stirred in his arms, murmured something before he turned his head towards him to greet him with a kiss. And when they parted, Julian could only think one thing.

He has no idea how this window sill played such a big part in his life, but whoever decided it'd, he's really thankful for it.


	3. Day 3: Jealousy/Protectiveness

It's his third drink that night.

Julian carefully shakes his glass and watches as the light brown liquid is swirling in it.

With a sigh, he puts down his glass and checks his phone again.

_~Sorry Jul, I can't make it to the bar. Got something else to do, Hope you have a good time!!~_

_~It's fine.Raincheck?~_

Just his luck that the one time he might get lucky with the whole blind-dating thing, he gets stood up. Why did the universe hate him so much? Was one date so much to ask? He was ready to leave when suddenly someone sits down on the chair in front of him.

The man had windswept brown hair and a nervous smile on his face. And eyes that'd make a puppy jealous. Christ, he had drunk too much.

"Can I help you with something?" he asks carefully and the guy grimaces.

"Could you just pretend that you're happy to see me?" at this Julian just raises one of his eyebrows. "At least until Tony goes away?"

"Who's Tony?"

"Behind me, near the door, I think." answers the kid with a nod towards the door. "Big, brawny guy. A…"

"A bully." at this the kid just winces but then his fake, too cheerful smile is back on his face.

"Since high school." comes the reply and in the next moment, his chin is cradled in his palms, while he just so slightly leans closer to Julian. "I was his favorite target."

"And why were you his favorite?"

"Oh, ya know, the nerd who always knew the answer to everything and almost failed P.E.. I was the perfect target."

"And you sit here because…?"

"I just saw him coming in and I panicked. And this seat looked empty, and I just panicked, like I said.The last time we met, well,… it wasn't on the best terms." replies the guy and for the first time, a real smile appears on his face. " By the way, I'm Barry. Oh, and don't take this as an insult, but I won't shake your hand. I mean I'd shake your hand but it'd be way too.."

"Suspicious?" asks Julian with a smirk and Barry just blushes. "I'm Julian."

"It's nice to meet you, Julian." the kid smile drops a little and his blush deepens."Oh, I didn't ruin your night, right? I mean, an attractive guy like you probably wouldn't come to a place like this alone.Oh God, I totally ruined your date right? I'm sorry, there must be a way that I'd make it up to you? I mean, would you like another drink or something else? I'm in, no matter what it is!, Uhh, could you just forget that I said this?" rambles the kid and Julian can't help but chuckle.

"Are you always this nervous? Or it's just my attractiveness?"

"I can't believe I just said it," mumbles Barry and quickly hides his face behind his hands. Julian can't help but tease him a little.

"Well, you're not bad yourself." at this Barry peeks out between his fingers, probably sees his smirk before he drops his hands to run one through his hair.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Oh, I am enjoying myself all right."

"But really, I didn't crash your date right?" God, the guy's puppy-dog eyes should be illegal.

"No, you didn't. My _date_ did." seeing his confused face, Julian exhales before he starts explaining himself. "It was supposed to be a date night, but he stood me up. I was already here when he sent me the message." The kid winces at this.

"That's sucks."

"Yeah, you tell me." Julian clears his throat and takes a sip from his drink- and now it's lukewarm, great.

"So, Julian…"

"Yes, Barry?" he asks, maybe a little exasperatedly.

"Why don't you tell me something interesting about yourself?"

"Why should I? We aren't on a date."

"I just.. I just thought that since you're stuck with me, we should do something. Y'know, so we won't look like two idiots."

"Two idiots who don't know each other and just met five minutes ago?" he asks and Barry just scratches his neck. 

 "I guess?" he says and his gaze drifts downwards. "Are you seeing Tony? he asks, voice volume not above a whisper.

"No, I don't think so," answers Julian as he carefully scans the room. "I think he's gone by now."

"Oh, thank God." Barry visibly relaxes and his gaze finds his glass. "As a payback, can I get you something else to drink?"

"Don't bother with it, I've had enough."

"Please, at least let me do this."

"But I..."

"Really, it'd be nothing. " and with that, Barry makes a beeline towards the bar and Julian with a sigh checks his phone. Still nothing from his date, great. And when he looks up, he swears his heart stops for a moment.

He could clearly see the discomfort and disgust on Barry's face as he tried to back away from someone, and in the next moment, the guy boxed him in with his hands, trapping him.

Before he could change his mind, Julian quickly stands up and approaches the scene.

"…I'm serious, you should go."

"And why would I leave you alone here? Oh, c' on Barry, we always had such a great time together."

"Tony, please." pleaded Barry, and then it sinks in.

Oh. _Oh._ This was Tony, the _bully_.

Julian loudly cleared his throat and both Tony and Barry turned towards him. Barry's eyes were wide and fearful, whole body trembling. Julian probably never hated someone before as much as he came to hate Tony in that moment.

"What? Can't you see we are busy?" asked Tony in a deep voice and Julian even from this distance could smell the whiskey on his breath. At this Barry shakes his head, and mouths the words ' _Leave me_ '.

"Yes but I'd like to ask you to put some distance between you and my boyfriend." even Julian surprised he managed to utter this sentence without wavering.

Tony outright laughs in his face and Barry just simply stands there, shocked.

"You? And him?" another laugh and _seriously, where's the bartender when he's needed?!_

"What happened to you Allen? Couldn't get a date with Iris so you became a _faggot_?"

"Shut up, Tony!" hisses Barry desperately and tries to break free from his grasp. In the next moment, Tony has a hand fisted in Barry's hair and the other gropes his ass. Julian sees red.

"If I had known this before, I'd have made my move sooner," whispers Tony as he leans closer. "I'd show you how a real man does it, Barr."

"Leave my boyfriend alone, asshole." says Julian, his right hand already forming a fist.

"Or what?" Tony chuckles but takes a step back from Barry, and turns towards Julian. "You'll call me names? You're nothing compared to me." at this he slowly flexes his muscles, and inches closer until he's just a foot away.

"Come on, make this funny for both of us! I'll let _you_ hit _me_ first."

"Thanks, I appreciate it." smirks Julian and quickly hits Tony in the face, hopefully shoving his nose up to his brains.

Doesn't expecting the hit, Tony stumbles, looses his footing and his head hits the table's edge. Barry with a gasp jumps out of the way, towards Julian, who's hand pulses, but he doesn't pay attention to it. His first priority is Barry, who trembles visibly.

"You're alright, right? That asshole didn't hurt, did he?" he asks worriedly but before Barry could answer his questions, the bartender out of nowhere just appears next to them, takes a quick glance at Tony, and -

"I think it's time for you to go home.

* * *

 "I.. Don't know how to thank you," says Barry as they stand in front of the bar, waiting for Julian's taxi.

"It was nothing, the asshole deserved it," he answers grimly and _fuck_ \- his hand hurts but it was worth it. "Everybody would've done it."

"You know that's not true." Barry is still shaken, but he'll be fine, Julian thinks. "You're my hero." oh, there's that lopsided smile Julian missed.

"And what's my reward?" he asks sarcastically and turns towards Barry. "The last time I read stories, they always get something in exchange."

Barrys biting his lower lip, before he exhales and leans towards Julian and kisses his cheek. When he leans back, is cheeks are red and there's a spark in his eyes that wasn't there before.

"Hope it counts."

As if it was cited, the taxi appears and stops in front of them.

"Well, I guess it's time to say goodbye. Good night Julian!" says Barry and he slowly walks away from him.

"Wait!" he shouts after him, and Barry turns, now walking backward."I don't even know your number!" _Smooth Julian, smooth._

"How do you know that?" comes the reply and with a cheeky grin, Barry turns away and hurries down the street.

Julian just stands there, completely frozen in place. The taxi driver honks, snapping Julian out of his daze. He quickly darts forward, making sure that his wallet is still with him. And that's when he founds the paper. He dials the number without hesitation and waits. At the third ring, somebody picks it up.

_"What took so long, stranger?"_


	4. Day 4: Free Day

There's _nothing_ Julian likes more than the lazy morning in bed.

  
And there's nothing he hates more when he's forced to take double-shifts, works for endless hours and at the end of the day - _or the very start of the next_ \- just falls in bed, sometimes without a shower. The only upside that after a double-shift, his next two days are free - because his boss just awesome like that.

  
Which means lazy mornings.

  
When he doesn't need to hurry, doesn't need to stress. When it's just him and his comfy mattress, the soft comforters and the pillows that suspiciously smells like Barry.  
With a sigh, he checks his watch - it's just 6.55 am., _God, why isn't he still asleep?_ \- and then burrows his head in the pillows, inhales its aroma and he's ready to surrender to sleep once again when he hears something from the kitchen.

  
With a groan, he searches for his robe - _and when did he take off his work clothes?_ \- and with a big yawn, flounders toward his kitchen.  
Barry's already up, earphones on, mumbling something that sounds like a Lady Gaga song, and picks up the pan from the floor. All he's wearing are a red T-shirt and burgundy boxers. Any other day, Julian would appreciate the sight, but it's not today. Today he just simply walks behind him and places his hands on Barry's waist. Barry tenses for a moment, but then relaxes and lets Julian to fully envelop him in a hug.  
Julian just sighs and rests his head on Barry's shoulder, who takes out his earphones and kisses his forehead.  
"Wh' 're you 'p so e'rly?" he mumbles and at Barry's chuckle just tightens his grip.  
"I have to go to work, remember? Not everybody can afford a _stay-at-home-all-day_ , Jul."  
"And what are you doin'?" he asks and Barry slowly guides them towards the table. "Made so m'ch noise you even managed to wake m'."  
"I'm sorry, I know how much you need your beauty sleep." Barry chuckles and carefully tries to untangle Julian from him. "I know that you really love me, but if we want to have breakfast, you have to let me go."

  
Julian just " _Hmm_ "s in response and sits down the chair, bleary eyed and before he could lean down, there's a cup of coffee in front of him. He mumbles a " _Thanks, mate_." and Barry just smiles at him, so fondly that Julian can't help but smile back at him in return.  
"And what are you making for breakfast?" he asks a few minutes later, sips his coffee and watches as Barry beats the eggs.  
"French toast. You probably barely eat anything yesterday." Barry says in response and whisks together some milk, vanilla extract, and cinnamon. "Last night you just stumbled into bed head first, without a hello and fall asleep immediately.So - considering that you scared the crap out of me and with so much adrenaline in my system I couldn't go back to sleep, I undressed you, tucked you in and then fall asleep, again."  
"And why were you here? I mean, I don't mind that you were." Julian corrects himself quickly, trying to avoid a misunderstanding. There're worse things to woke up to then your sexy boyfriend making you French toast for breakfast.  
"I had some extra work yesterday and your place is closer to the precinct than mine and I thought you won't mind me if I crash here for the night." Barry looks at him sheepishly, a blush appearing on his face. "You really don't mind it, right?"  
"Oh, not at all." assures him Julian and with a smirk, adds, "Why would I complain about a free breakfast? Especially combined with such a view," he makes sure that Barry sees the way Julian gives him a once-over, and Barry's blush deepens.  
"Oh, just cut it." blush still present, he walks to the table and places a plate in front of him and another one for him. "You're the worst, ya know that right?"  
"But you still love me anyway." it's so unrealistic, it's almost a year since they got together, almost seven months since Barry uttered the words _I think I'm in love with you_ , and it still makes his heart beat faster.

And Barry just smiles at him, with such a love and adoration that Julian just melts and when Barry leans closer he rises from his seat to meet him halfway. The kiss isn't anything extraordinary, with just a hint of a tongue, but it makes his blood run south.  
"The toasts are gonna be cold," Barry whispers against his mouth and slowly takes a step backward.  
"Don't wanna waste your work, darling." at this Barry just hits him with a tea towel and Julian raises and pours himself another cup of coffee.  
Barry puts down the plate with the toast and takes his place and accepts when Julian offers him coffee.

  
They ate in silence, mostly, and when they break it, it's with just small talks - _how was work, how are Iris and Henry doing, do you want another one?_ \- and they are just enjoying their breakfast, together. Until it's time for Barry to start dressing if he doesn't want to be late - ever since he and Julian got together, Barry almost always managed to get to work in time.  
"Are you coming back after work?" he asks, when Barry emerges from the bathroom, toothbrush in his mouth, searching for something in his coat.  
"Dunno. D' you want me to?"  
"Stupid, if I wouldn't, they why would I ask it?" at this, Barry just rolls his eyes, checking something on his phone.  
"D' you want me to bring something with me? Chinese, Thai or Italian?  
"Maybe some kind of a dessert. I'll cook some spaghetti." the way Barry smiles at him, toothbrush still in his mouth and hanging down, tells him that yes, it's a deal.  
Until Barry finishes dressing, Julian finishes his breakfast, drinks another cup of coffee and gives Barry a goodbye kiss when it's time for him to leave. And then he's alone, for the rest of the day.

  
After a nap, and another cup of coffee, he does the dishes, vacuums the carpets and changes the sheets and nervously thinks about the turns the night could take.

* * *

"Hey, I'm back!" he's sitting on the sofa when Barry tumbles through the door, paper bag in one hand, messenger bag in the other.

And it's barely 5.00 pm. Christ, Julian thought he would have time until at least 7.00pm.

  
"Hey." he answers, body tense, and he's just _so fucking nervous._  
"You still tried?" asks Barry and walks over to him, puts down the paper bag on the table and shamelessly sits in Julian's lap and greets him with a kiss. "You did sleep during the day, right?"  
"Yes, mom," he answers with an eye roll and puts his hands on Barry's hips. Barry just smiles at him disapprovingly, maybe a little mischievously  
"I just know how grumpy you get when you don't have your beauty sleep." Julian rewards him with a bruising kiss and twists them, with one hand in a firm grip on Barry's ass and hair, until Barry is pliant under him on the sofa.  
"Grumpy, huh?" he asks and slowly kisses Barry, on the mouth, on his jaw, behind his ear and then wanders down to his neck, nibbling there.  
"Yes, that Grumpy cat would be jealous if it saw you when - _Oh!_ "  
"I hope it was a good ' _Oh!_ '" he asks and smiles at Barry cheekily before he continues his ministrations.  
"It was a _'Don't you dare to stop!_ ' one."  
"I think it can be arranged." and he kisses Barry again, hands roaming downwards and lets them get lost in their passion.

* * *

"I hope your sofa can be cleaned, I love it, it'd be a shame if we ruined it for good."

  
Julian just snorts at this, body still sweaty from the previous activities. Barry is lying on top of him, traces patterns on his chest, sometimes kisses his shoulders, both of them happy that they have the chance to just lie in bed - or sofa, to be correct - together.

  
"Both of us are CSIs. I think we will find a way to get rid of any stains that might have _'ruined'_ it."  
"I know there was more reason why I liked to crash at your place. Comfy sofa, a way more comfy bed, an amazing kitchen and don't forget the bath. And you're pretty smart too, I think I'll keep you for a little longer."  
"So you can spend more time in my apartment?"  
"Exactly."  
"Smartass." with a grunt and lot of will-power, Julian untangles himself and picks up his shirt from the floor. "I have something that I wanted to show you."  
"Can you bring it here? I'm way too comfortable right now." Barry says as he snuggles deeper in the comforters  
"Just a sec." with another great inhale Julian walks towards the bedroom, nerves returning, making him doubting himself.

  
He picks up the little box carefully, rehearsing his speech and walks back to the living room.  
Barry's up, the comforter around his shoulders, examining the paper bag. When he hears him enter, he looks up with a sheepish smile.

  
"The vanilla ice cream got ruined and I think it can't be reversed. " he grimaces, nose wrinkling and Julian suddenly can't swallow.

  
_What if it's too early? What if he says no? Are they ready for this step? What if...?_

  
"Hey, you alright up there?" Barry's voice snaps him out of his daze, gaze worried.  
"Yeah, I just.." voice rough with emotions, Julian clears it before he walks and sits down next to Barry, taking his hand in his and gives him the box. "I just got something for you."  
"What's this?" Barry asks curiously and looks at him before he looks at the box.  
"I know.. that we met barely a year ago, and that anniversary is still a few weeks away, but I thought it wouldn't be too much of a problem if I'm a little early." he clears his throat, again. " And I want you to know how much I appreciate you. You're just so light and funny and kind and God, I love you more than I thought it'd even be possible, but here I am, rambling like you." he chuckles wetly and fails to notice how Barry's eyes are shining too with tears." And the last year was one of the best of my life. And I can't thank you enough. And I thought, since we're both so deep and I'm sure you already has your own drawer in my bedroom, why not make it official?" he slowly releases Barry's hand, asks for the box and opens it, turning towards Barry, who looks at the little key in it in awe before he looks up to Julian.

  
"Barry Allen, will you move in with me?"

  
He barely finishes his sentence before Barry kisses him, kisses him with such a passion like there's no tomorrow, like he's the happiest human on the Earth. And all of this because Julian just asked him to move in with him.  
"Yes, God. Yes! I'd" _kiss_ "be" _kiss_ "honored." he kisses Julian again and Julian feels his heart grows bigger and he kisses Barry back just as enthusiastically as he's kissed by the other man.

  
Julian was so wrong before.

There's _nothing_ he loves more on this Earth than Barry Allen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My [Tumblr.](http://lutavero.tumblr.com)


	5. Day 5: Secret Relationship

The coffee stain just can't be scrubbed off.

  
It's been at least an hour since Barry started his daily routine at JLC, and this particular table just can't be cleaned. He already tried everything, from hot, soapy water to degreaser, but it just won't come off.  
With a sigh, he drops the cloth and collapses into the chair and hides his face in his hands.  
The JLC is almost empty, it's just him, Tracy the newbie and some frequenter. Considering that it's around 10.30 am on a Sunday, it's no surprise. The morning rush is already over and lunch is a few hours away so they have plenty of time to reload and to clean.

* * *

It was a Saturday night, around 8.45 pm, just a few minutes until Barry could've closed the shop for the day and go home to relax.

  
And that was the moment he walked in.

  
All he wore was a simple poison green hoodie and sweatpants. Face relaxed and a mischievous glint in his eyes, thanks to the lights his hair looked like it was made from gold.  
He casually got in the queue, sometimes looking out the window, as if searching something on the streets. And Barry couldn't help but stare at him.

  
When it was his turn to order, he smiled at Barry and it did interesting things to Barry's stomach.

  
"Welcome to JLC! How can I help you?"  
"I'm relatively new here, so I have no idea. What'd you recommend?" Oh God, he had an accent.  
"Well, considering the time and assuming you'd like to sleep tonight, how about a hot chocolate? Or a tea, the _Arrow_? Oh, and don't forget our pizza pockets, the _Vibe_."  
"I think I'll go with coffee. I have some work to do and I'm sure I won't get too much sleep tonight. So, what about coffee? What's the strongest?"  
"Oh, night shift, huh? Well then, If I were you, I'd buy the _Flash_. It'll definitely keep you up the whole night."  
"The _Flash_?" the guy just smirked, and Barry could feel the hotness in his cheeks. "What's the reason they got such a silly names?"  
"It's not silly. They're from comics!" the guys chuckles at Barry's horrified expression.  
"My bad, sorry. And why is your tea named _'Arrow_ '?"  
"Can't you see? It's a theme." this earns Barry an eye roll. "All of the names are from DC's Comic. That's why our iced coffees are named _Frost_ and chili biscuit named _Heatwave_."  
"Geek." came the reply and Barry couldn't help but chuckle. "So, yes, I'll take a Flash. And some biscuit, maybe."  
"Good choice. All I'd like to ask for is a name." God, Barry just hoped it didn't sound creepy.  
"Why?" the guy's forehead is wrinkled, probably confused.  
"It's a...tradition. Like in Starbucks. But ours is better.The difference that we write something positive, a little message, ya know, to cheer the people up. So..?"  
"Julian. My names is Julian." said the guy - Julian with a sigh.  
"Mine's Barry."  
"I know."  
"How..?" how on Earth could he know his...? Oh. He realized it the moment Julian gestured to his chest.  
"Don't worry, I'm not a diviner. It's your name tag." Barry was pretty sure his blush by now covered his whole face.

  
Clearing his throat, Barry quickly took his permanent marker and a cup, wrote Julian's name on it and while the machine made the Flash, he packed some biscuits. When he looked up, he expected to see Julian watching him as he worked - _what was wrong with him?_ \- but instead, he found him as his gaze was fixed on the streets, shoulders tense.

The machine beeped, pulling both of them out of their daze.

  
"I guess you'll take it with yourself."  
"Yes, that'd be perfect," said Julian, and quickly took out a $10 bill. "Don't bother with the change, just keep it as a tip."  
"But..."  
"Please, I insist." Christ, that smile was dangerous.

  
Barry swallowed, put the coffee and the biscuits in front of Julian and took the money, forcing a nervous smile on his face.

  
"Have a good night, Julian."  
"You too mate. You too. and with that, Julian walked towards the door, hands on the handle when he stopped and turned towards Barry with a grimace.  
" _'You remind me of Draco Malfoy from HP.'_ Since when it's positive?" Barry can't help but smirk at him.  
"Hush, he's a great character."  
"You're one of a kind, Barry."

♦♣♦

After that night, Julian reappeared the next day and the day after and it continued. His order was always the same, so by 8.50 pm, Barry had a fresh Flash and biscuits ready for him, counting the seconds until Julian walked in.  
They always bantered a little, teased the other and it felt so good.  
It was a month later, a Friday night, when Julian asked him out for a date.  
Barry said yes immediately.

♦♣♦

The date was a success and they even shared a goodbye kiss in front of his apartment.  
The next day Julian appeared as usual and asked him if he wanted to go out sometime soon. Barry said yes without thinking.

♦♣♦

It was after their third date when he noticed something. Well, someone.  
Just a few meters behind them was a man, sunglasses on, and his upper body was covered in a black coat.  
The sight made him uneasy but kept silent. Probably he was just paranoid.

♦♣♦

He was pretty sure he wasn't imagining it. That guy was everywhere, no matter where they went.  
No matter when and where he glanced behind them, the guy was there.  
"What's wrong?" asked Julian with concern.  
"I think we're being followed by that guy." whispered Barry and Julian just sighed and took his hand in his.  
"C' on. I have something to tell you."

♦♣♦

His whole name was Julian Desmond Albert. The son of Richard Albert, the head of the Missouri state.  
 _The fucking son of the state's leader._  
At least, this explains the whole 'Dark-clothed guy shadowing us' thing.  
"I ..wanted to tell you, I really wanted to. But I just.. you were the first one, who didn't spend time with me because of the money or my Dad. You were with me because you liked me. And it was such a foreign feeling and I loved it. I'm sorry. Will... will you forgive me?"  
Barry said yes without a second thought.

♦♣♦

So he watched.  
Watched from the background as Julian paraded at parties, met celebrities and took steps towards becoming the youngest head of the state.  
Barry'd be lying he said he wasn't proud of Julian. And that he wasn't jealous.  
As their relationship progressed - _"Please, you have to understand this. If I came out right now, it could hurt my dad's career. And mine, too. And Dad would be just so depressed if we lose the voting because I admitted I'm gay at the wrong time.Please, be patient for a little longer."_ \- it was harder and harder to pretend he wasn't hurt.

♦♣♦

"When will you leave? When will I see you again? The last three weeks were hell without you," mumbled Barry into Julian's right pec before kissing it again.  
"I'm leaving tomorrow." sensing the tension in Barry's body he tries to calm him. "Don't worry, I'll be back before you even notices that I'm gone."  
"You said it the last time." he spats before he untangled himself, searching for his clothes. "And before that and before that. And I'm just so tired of them."  
"What are you talking about?" asked Julian and watched as he got dressed.  
"This. I'm tired of the secrets, the unfilled promises. I'm tired, Jul. And honest to God I tried. I was patient, but my patience just..."  
"Are you serious right now?" Julian asked offendedly. And Barry just lost it.  
"Do you know ... what's today?" he asks, voice small. "Today is our first anniversary, in a sense. A year ago, on this day you walked into my life. And made it better. Or so I thought."  
"Are you kidding me? What..what are you? A fifteen years old teenager? Jesus, Barry, I thought you were more matured than that!"  
"Then why aren't you with one?" he shouted before his anger evaporated. "It was important to me. And I thought it was to you too. But I was so wrong..." with that, he took his coat, and swallowed back his tears.  
"Are you.. breaking up with me?" asks Julian, posture rigid. "You're throwing away this relationship because one simple mistake?"  
"Jul, to be honest, I'm not sure there's anything to break. I'm not sure that what we had was even a _relationship_.

* * *

Barry watches as the bubbles bursts.

  
It's been three months since he broke off this... thing with Julian and he didn't call him, not even once. And he feels just so fucking sad, and there's that hole in his chest, in his heart that just won't go away.  
Someone sits in front of him and when he sees who just sat down, his posture goes rigid as he straightens his back.

  
"Hey, Barr." starts Julian, voice wavering a little.  
"What are you doing here?" Barry asks back, defensive.  
"I just..." Julian sighs and that's when Barry notices the bags under his eyes. "I wanted to say that I'm sorry. I didn't even realize what I had.. how important you became until I lost you. And the last three months have been hell. All I could think about what a big asshole I was. How I messed up the best thing in my life. And I know you probably don't wanna see me, but I thought I should at least apologize. So yes, Barr, I'm so fucking sorry."  
"What changed?"  
"Everything! Suddenly everything's dull, lifeless and monotonous. I thought about getting back together, but I realized that it wouldn't be enough. So I had to come up with a new plan."  
"And it's...?"  
"Hey, I'm Julian. I'm closer to 30 than I'd like to admit and I love geeky things. After getting influenced by my favorite barista, I bought the whole DC comic collection, so I'd know what on Earth he's talking about. I also like lazy mornings and I'm the biggest jerk you could find on this Earth." at this Barry just snorts, his chest feeling lighter. "And it's your turn, I think. Who are you?"  
"You're such a dumbass, you know that right?" he asks, eyes full of unshed tears and he tangles his fingers with Julian's.  
"But that's why you love me."  
"Yes, and for many other things."

* * *

That week, Julian comes out as bisexual and officially introduces Barry as his boyfriend to his father, who just hugs him and tells Julian that he's so proud of him, it hurts.  
Neither of them pretends that they don't have tears in their eyes.  
And a few months later, when Julian proposes, Barry says yes, and not because of the wealth, as the press suggest.  
It's because he wants to and he loves Julian more that words could describe it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My [Tumblr.](http://lutavero.tumblr.com)


	6. Day 6: Hurt/Comfort

The constant _beep-beep_ from the heart monitor is the only thing that shows Julian that yes, Barry's indeed alive, even if not alright, but alive and breathing.

  
It started like a normal day for Julian. Well, normal if working with Team Flash counted as normal.

  
Trying to find ways, exercises to improve Cisco and Wally's abilities, helping Caitlin with her necklace - he's sure he could improve it too, so it'd reload itself from ordinary lamps too - and when the call came in, tried to find a shortcut for Barry, so that day's criminal would end up in Iron Heights sooner than he could blink. Watching the map, instructing Barry so he knew which way was the quickest, he couldn't help but feel elated.

  
And that was the moment everything went wrong.

  
Suddenly, Caitlin's monitor beeped - to Julian, it sounded like a shriek - and they all watched in silence as the guy rode away while Barry's signal stayed where he was. Before Julian could ask what was wrong, Cisco already opened a portal and another point appeared just a few feets away from Barry's.  
"Caitlin, it's _Code Black_. It's _Code Black!_ " seeing the way Caitlin stiffened in her chair made his stomach to tighten.  
"Can you bring him back with you?"  
"No, I.. I don't think it'd be a great idea. Oh, Caitlin, this is...I.. it looks really bad.."  
"Okay Cisco, you need to keep it together," instructed him Caitlin, her voice steady - and as Julian learned during the weeks he spent with the team - already in doctor mode, looking up to Wally. "Take the van and go to the location. If Cisco can't bring him back it means neither could you. So don't even try to run back with him. Here's the key!" the next moment Wally sped out from the cortex, leaving him with Caitlin, who typed something into the computer then run off, quickly grabbing her lab coat.

  
Julian, with nothing else to do, followed her to a storage - a medical supply storage - and watched as the doctor collected thread, a few bags of blood and other things he never saw before - was that a neck fix?And those clamps, just looking at them made Julian uneasy - and then put them in Julian's hands.  
"I need to find some disinfectant and probably more blood, too. Bring these to the medical bay, I'll be there in a few minutes. Go!" with that, Caitlin showed Julian towards the Cortex, while herself went in the other direction.

  
Julian numbly walked back - _why would they need so much blood? What's going on?_ \- and slowly put down everything on the table, as if he was in a trance. When Caitlin came back, it was with an oxygen tank and blood, a ridiculous amount of blood.

  
She handed him the blood, placed the oxygen to the bed and attaching the mask to it, and poured the disinfectant to a plate looking thing - Julian was sure he know how that thing was called, but right now, even if he was threatened, he wouldn't have been able to tell what it was called - and dumped the other thing, scissors, needles, the clamps, into it.

  
"We don't have time for properly cleaning them," she explained."I'm gonna bring up the med bed to the garage level."  
"I'm gonna help you," he said weakly and stood to the bed's right side. "Show me the way."

  
The two of them relatively quickly reached the garage, just a few minutes before Cisco returned with the van. He braked, jumped out from the driver's seat and ran towards them. Caitlin showed the oxygen mask and the tank into Julian's hand and with Cisco's help, they pushed the bed to the van's side, opening the side door. They said something to each other - _couldn't breathe, unconscious, blood_ \- but Julian just couldn't understand a word. And that was when he noticed they placed something on the bed.

  
It was Barry. And he looked terrible.

  
They quickly pushed the bed towards the elevator and it took Cisco's _"Get the fucking oxygen mask over here, dumbass!"_ to snap him out of his daze and run after them.  
The ride downwards lasted forever. Barry was unconscious, breath ragged, and his scarlet suit was crimson and Julian felt sick. Caitlin took the mask from him, placed it on Barry's face and secured the tank on the bed. Cisco tried to pry off the suit without success. When they reached the Cortex level, they pushed Barry towards the med bay.

  
"We need to operate him. Without anesthetic, it'll hurt him like hell. Hopefully, he won't wake up."

  
That was the moment everything became a blur to Julian. Wally appeared sometimes later, saying he informed Joe and Iris and was heading out to catch the asshole. But he didn't register any of it. All he had his eyes for was Barry.

  
Barry, who during the operation woke up with a bloodcurdling scream and thrashed and screamed and there was just so much blood....

  
"Julian calm him down! He's hurting himself even more and he's bleeding out!" Caitlin shouted at him, hanging up another bag of blood and IV.

  
Julian quickly grabbed Barry's face between his hands, whispering soothing nothings to him, and couldn't stop the tears and they fall freely.

  
"Hey, Barr, ...love hey, look at me, alright? Concentrate on my voice, okay? That's it, look at me." he ran his fingers through his hair, in a soothing manner, like when he woke from a nightmare and couldn't go back to sleep. But it wasn't a sick dream, no, it was the fricking reality. "You're doing so fine, baby, okay? Don't give up just yet, alright? Hold on, okay? Stay with me Barr, just stay with me."

  
Barry choked on a sob, tears leaking from his eyes, face pale and bloody.

  
"It's gonna be alright." Julian didn't dare to look at Caitlin because if he did, he would be sick, he knew it. So he concentrated on Barry and watched as fatigue claimed him once again. "I promise, okay? Just hold on."

* * *

That was the reason why he stayed the whole night in that uncomfortable plastic chair.

  
With a sigh, he looked at his watch, noting that it was past 7.30 am. Joe already left, promising to get a free week for Julian and Barry, claiming that they got some nasty stomach flu.

  
Caitlin was somewhere in the building, saying she won't leave until Barry woke up and his results showed her he was fine. Cisco was snoring on another med by, a few rooms down from here.

  
And Julian just sat here, drinking cheap coffee, and watching Barry like a hawk. With a shaky exhale, he sat closer, taking Barry's right hand in his, kissing his knuckles, thinking.

  
If it'd be any other day, this time by now, he'd worried that they'll be late. Barry would laugh at him, saying he could get them there in time and would kiss him and in the next moment they'd stand in the alley behind the precinct, himself just rolling his eyes at Barry. They'd put in their hours, then go to S.T.A.R. Labs, patrolling and then they would just go home and enjoy their night together.

  
But this normal, average day wasn't today.

  
According to Caitlin, the metahuman broke Barr's ribs, some of them perforated his lungs. He had a serious concussion, a broken eardrum and his other organs got bruised, too, causing serious internal bleeding. Without a Ph.D. Julian knew Barry was lucky that he was still alive.

  
Julian was ready to head out to get more coffee when Barry groaned and the hand in his twitched.

  
"Barry? Can you hear me?" he asks carefully, trying to sound calm.  
"W't ha'pen'? Barry isn't fully awake yet, face twitching in pain. "Everything hurts."  
"Of course it does, mate. Lucky to be alive." he shudders, raising to kiss Barry's forehead.  
"Lucky me, tha' I got you". is the reply and it melts his heart.  
"I'll call Caitlin okay? Try to stay awake okay?"  
"Can't promise anything." and it's such a Barry thing to say that Julian is laughing, tears welling up in his eyes because Barry is _awake_ and he'll be _fine_.

* * *

Caitlin clears him at the third night, tells them that it'll take a few days till Barry will be okay. Until all, he's allowed to do is bedrest and noodle soup and if she learns that he left the apartment, she'll hunt him down personally.

  
Julian drives him to his place, considering that it's his boyfriend and as a boyfriend, it's Julian duty to take care of him and who is he to go against Caitlin's order? He learned it the hard way, thank you very much.

  
So the next two days are spent in bed or on the sofa and even tough Barry's injury are healed, Julian is extra careful when they're cuddling. Caitlin and Joe check on them at least twice a day, bringing food with them. And Julian just loves it - feels _loved_ and _wanted_ and _part of a family_. And it's just _so good_.

  
He still has nightmares, especially when Barry comes back from a fight, injured, and he learns to live with them.  
He knows that it's not perfect but what is?

  
And Barr's always there to chase them away with his kisses and kind words.

  
And he feels really lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My [Tumblr.](http://lutavero.tumblr.com)


	7. Day 7: Soulmates

Julian never had faith in the whole soulmate-thingy.  
Why would his happiness depend on one person? Why were they so special?  
Instead of having a mark - it was such a popular opinion and sometimes Julian wished it was the case because at least he could have hide it unlike what was the harsh reality - you were colorblind. At least, until you kissed your soulmate.  
And Julian couldn't see the red color. And the other colors were dull, too.  
At first, he didn't even notice it just when his mother brought him to the _Rainbow Global Jewelry_. The place was huge and the owner was a jittery old man that made his 6-year-old-self feel like he walked into an asylum. The man showed him a palette, which held the colors of a rainbow.  
"So, can you tell me the color's order?" asked the man and watched him like a hawk. This made him feel really uneasy.  
"Isn't it constant?" he asks back, straightening his back like his parents always told him - _act like you were above them. Don't show fear. Show superiority_.  
"Really funny, young man. Really funny. But what can you tell me about this specific one?"  
"It's dull." he answered, face wrinkled in thought.  
"Dull huh? What else? Is one color... duller, grayer than the other?"  
"The first one." hearing his answer the man muttered something, opened a drawer and put a crystal in front of Julian.  
"Can you tell me what's the color of this stone?"  
"Gray? No, it's white, or transparent I think.Like a diamond." was his answer but when he looked up he saw the man shaking his head, smiling.  
"No, boy. It's a ruby.So your missing color is red."  
Later that day he got a bracelet, like everyone who didn't find his soulmate yet. According to Emma, the stone in his was a beautiful red ruby. According to the man, it was necessary, so he'll _know_ when he finally kissed his soulmate because after that moment he'd be able to see red.  
As a young child, it was exhilarating, wondering when he'd finally meet his soulmate. His other half, who would understand him better than anyone else. But as the years went, he never met his other half and slowly lost his hope.  
The only thing why others kissed him was because of his parent's money. All of his girlfriends, and after a while his boyfriends, admitted at one point that they were after the fame and the money. And every time it hurt more than the last. The cruelty of the teenagers.  
When he was 21, Emma died, leaving him alone, pulling a barrier between him and his parents. So he packed and left, at first only England and went to Scotland.  
Here he met Daniel, who gave him the color of _strawberry red_. According to him, Julian gave him the sky blue. But it wasn't what they hoped for, it was a sign that they weren't soulmates, just simply mates who understood each other like nobody could before. So, with a teary goodbye, Julian left the UK and traveled around the world. He went to France, to Japan, to India and Mexico.  
His parents didn't understand his obsession with traveling and said they'll cut him off if he's gonna continue it.But for the first time, he felt free and happy. So, just to further anger them, he visited the USA. And that's how everything changed.

* * *

His mom explained the whole colorblind thing to him when he was five.  
At first, Barry didn't understand why he couldn't see the color of the grass, why the leaves were gray.Then his mother explained it to him.  
Barry won't be able to see the color green until he kissed his soulmate.  
When he was 15, he kissed Iris for the first time. After that, all he could see was the pine tree color. He grieved for days, crying himself to sleep because they were _so perfect and happy_ together, but why weren't they soulmates. It took a few months to get over it, but his bond with Iris remained strong as ever. He felt proud when she said he gave her the color pink.  
He met and dated people during his school years, but he couldn't picture them at his side their whole life. So he watched as his friends found their soulmates, and he was only jealous at Eddie for a little while. But he made Iris happy and who was he to intervene?  
It was a sunny day in Central, Barry just bought his coffee heading towards the park when he walked into someone, pouring his drink at the other.  
"I'm so sorry!" he said as the guy just stood there, frozen. "I didn't burn you right?"  
"..Know it was too great to be true. Why would one day be free of problems?" murmured the guy and sighed, looking into Barry's eyes. "It's nothing too serious, don't worry. Just next time look around and watch where you're going." his accent was strong, and Barry felt his cheeks grow hotter.  
"I'm sorry. Can I help you with anything?"  
"My hotel is relatively near, don't worry, mate. It'll be fine." the guy looked like he bit into a lemon. "I just hope this will come out. This is my only white shirt."  
"Why don't you let me a new one?" he asked and at the guy confused expression just blushed harder. "I mean, there's a place just a few minutes from here and I'm sure they'll have white shirts in your size. I mean, you probably don't wanna smell like coffee for the whole day and believe me, it'll stick to you like a second skin. And don't forget the burn it could cause you, so..."  
"Geez, hold your horses, man." the guy said and Barry was pretty sure his whole face was crimson by now. "Fine, if it'll make you feel better, show me that shop.  
And that's how Barry found himself in a Stop-shop and tried to pretend he didn't hear Felicity's snickering. The guy tried some shirts and after a few minutes chose a checkered one. Barry paid for it, ignored the comments and walked out, the guy following him.  
"Thanks, mate, but this wasn't necessary."  
"Yes it was, it was my fault your shirt got soaked in the first place. So yes, it was only fair if I paid for it."  
The guy just groaned, said something about _good doers_ and _Americans_.Barry just snickered and said that if it bothered him so much then he could buy him a coffee.  
That's how he get the guys name, - Julian - phone number and a date for tomorrow.

* * *

Barry was... something else.  
He surprised him every time, the way he _talked_ , the way he _listened_ to Julian's ramblings. And it felt so good.  
He never judged Julian, no matter what he told him. When he admitted he didn't call his parents for years, how he never visited his sister's grave, how he cut off things with Daniel after he found his soulmates. And Barry told him how jealous was at Eddie for a little while, how lonely he felt especially since his friends already met their soulmates and left him the only one from their group who still hadn't.  
They bantered, made silly jokes and Julian loved every moment he spent with Barry. Barry understood him on a level like no one ever before.  
The only thing they hadn't done in the six months they were together was kissing. Because just thinking about it made Julian _terrified_.  
No matter how deeply he got to know Barry, he was afraid that after their first kiss Barr won't see his missing color and he would just simply walk out of his life, leaving him alone and heartbroken because before he could've stopped it, he fell in love with Barry. And he just couldn't let him go.  
So he backed out from everything, saying he wasn't ready or he just simply gave Barry a forehead kiss or kissed his cheeks. Barry never made fun of him, sometimes just looked at him funnily and one time maybe a little hurt, but he never pressed the issue. But Julian knew, somehow, how it hurt Barry because it hurt him too like nothing before that. But he was just so damn afraid.  
It was their first year anniversary as boyfriends when he kissed Barry for the first time. Barry's lips were soft, sinfully soft and the way Barry kissed him... It made his heart flutter, before it dropped to his stomach, sitting there like a stone. When they parted and he opened his eyes, all he could see was Barry, his cherry red lips, a blush covering his face...  
Wait, he could _see_ Barry's lips, the shade of it. He quickly glanced at his right wrist and swore his heart stopped for a moment. The ruby in his bracelet was _red_. He finally saw the _true color_ of the ruby.  
When he looked up, he saw Barry, tears in his eyes as he gripped his shirt. His green shirt. _Oh_.  
"It's you." he whispered and saw how Barry glanced at his bracelet too.  
"Yes, it's me." he said, choked on his tears and kissed Barry again, with more passion.  
Everything felt new, everything was so much _vibrant_. At first, everything hurt his eyes a little, but he paid no mind to it. Barry's pale green eyes turned into beautiful hazel ones, his hair was chocolate brown instead mud brown and God, he was in love.   
"I can't believe I found you," he said when they parted and nipped Barry's neck before he sucked on it. Barry just gripped his hair, pulled him in closer.  
"Neither can I," was his answer and Julian just chuckled wetly, kissed Barry again.

* * *

The world looked beautiful. The sky was more vibrant and the sunrise was as amazing as everybody described it.  
Barry said they'll have to take a walk in the park because he waited 25 years patiently and now, finally, he'll be finally able to see how the grass looked like, how a _forest_ looked like. But Julian didn't have any of it.

He finally could see the way Barry blushed. And he wasn't in any hurry to get dressed. He finally could see how red looked like and he was determined to find out how far Barry's blush went.  
The trees will be there tomorrow, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your support, guys! You made this journey so memorable for me! My first entry in anything like this and wow, all I can say is just a big THANK YOU! Love you all! :) ♥♥♥  
> This was my very first try, trying to write something big and I'm so proud I managed to write more than 1000 words for each day. I think, with this, I just passed 10,000 words. :D   
> Don't forget that I have a [Tumblr](http://lutavero.tumblr.com).   
> I accept prompts, request and submits, too.  
> Soon, I'll update my other Flash story and a new multi-chapter story, with Coldflash as the main pairing.  
> Once again, thanks for reading and I hope you had a good time! :)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this one shot!  
> Sorry for the grammar errors!  
> Find me on [Tumblr](http://lutavero.tumblr.com).  
> For more information go to this [Tumblr](http://allenbertweek.tumblr.com).


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